I know, I know, it’s been awhile again. And yes, it’s health related. Here’s the quick follow up.

A little over a month ago I was diagnosed with strep B. I wasn’t tested because doctors weren’t listening to me; I didn’t have the typical symptoms of strep throat, but instead because I’ve known for a very long time that a lot of my aches and pains felt suspiciously like the really bad cases of strep throat I had as a kid, except the throat pains were in my sinuses, joints, lungs, and “flare ups” would always effect cognitive function. I hid my cards, not sharing this with the doc (actually nurse practitioner), but focused mainly on the sore throat and swollen lymph nodes (symptoms that, like all the others, tend to come and go almost randomly), so he did an oral swab, which immediately came back as negative for strep A. It then went to the lab which had me positive for B and I was put on two weeks of amoxicillin, two weeks of which I saw amazing improvements, especially in terms of cognitive function and mood. Hell, a lot of things I thought were normal (my contestant anxiety and something I call “spinning” that I’d decided was just part of my autism) had gone down significantly. So I researched and researched and found that’s it’s fairly well known that approximately 30% of people are strep B carriers, that is, they always have it, but don’t usually show any symptoms. Which lead me to the obvious question: What if they’re just not showing any symptoms doctor’s aren’t acknowledging (as possibly strep related)?

As I’d suspected, within days of going off the antibiotics my symptoms began to return—in earnest. So I called the doctor’s office. I e-mailed them. They ignored me. So I went in. I wanted to be retested before I made another appointment for my colonoscopy (the first which had to be canceled minutes before I was carted in in my pjs due having literally just learned I had strep B). They took another swab but weren’t willing to provide more antibiotics because, well—they didn’t have a reason—I just needed to wait until the test results came back. But hey, let’s test you for mono, we’ve never done that right, though those have been on your symptom list since (at least) your ER visit in July. Those results come back. I have a massive case of mononucleosis. What do they do they decide to do to help me with that? Absolutely nothing.

At this point I have to say, especially after 10 years and $70k trying to figure out what I had years back when it turned out I had Lyme, Babes, and Bartonella, that the Oregon Providence Health care system is shit. I’ve seen no evidence since my Lyme experience that Providence has any interest in improveming as a health care provider. Unfortunately, it’s about the only choice one has in Oregon (for most insurance carriers).

Fuck you, Providence.

Anyway, ended up going back to my naturopath who’s like, “Yeah, people can be strep B carriers, and it can cause all sorts of others issues. Have you heard of Pandas?” Yes, Pandas, a reaction to childhood strep infections that can results in OCD and austistic like behaviors—all things I’ve shared with her Providence counterparts dozens if not hundres of times over the last twenty years. Goddamn lazy mother fuckers. Anyway, she gets me on stronger antibiotics for a longer period, starts treating me with antivirals, runs some other tests to see if these are acute or long term infections, advises me on supplements to help boost my immune system and prevent nasty digestive issues that inevitably come with longer term uses of antibiotics, and well, I’m getting better.

Do you hear that? For the first time in years I’m getting better.

But what’s weird, what’s really weird to me, is some of the cognitive stuff. For example, I don’t wake up in the mornings always feeling hung over—and having to spend entire work days fighting this feeling (which goes side by side with head fog). Sure, some mornings are worse than others, and some days are still really tough, but in general I feel more human in the mornings and throughout the day. Another thing I’ve noticed (as mentioned above) I don’t feel a constant sense of anxiety. I’ve been battling this since I can remember and doctor’s have thrown everything at me thinking oh, it’s psychological, or you just need mood stabilizers, blah blah, and I kept telling them no, it has something to do with whatever’s going on with my body, and it’s always much much worse with the flare ups. Nobody would listen to me even though, when I’d get most frustrated, I’d complain, “It’s in my goddamn head!” And poof, on antibiotics, most of that’s gone, or at least, the volumes down twenty notches.

And that’s also another reason I haven’t written in a while. Without the constant anxiety and fear that has for so long been a motivator in my life—I don’t feel giant hands behind me pushing me to do things like, say, blog. Or, for example, I don’t feel like I have to push myself so hard at work that I’ll regret it later because, well, I’m not constantly afraid that if I’m not performing at 150% I’ll end up, sooner or later, looking for another job. Suddenly I’m in this place where the weight of anxiety isn’t hanging over me all the time, as it has since I was 15 or so years old, the age I suspect I first got Babesia, where between that and being a strep B carrier, my life would soon be in large part defined by the struggle of living, unknowingly, with bacterial infections my immune system wasn’t quite ever able to kill off.

What I really wanted to write about today was identity theft and how its prevalence demonstrates a lack of competence by Congress. I’ll plan on doing that tomorrow.

Take care and goodnight.

Aslynn

P.S. Apologies for my wandering writing style tonight, I just wanted to free write, so please forgive the rambling and many grammatical errors.