So tired.  For a few weeks I thought it was for the antibiotics.  But I haven’t been taking them this week because they were wiping me out.  So I stopped and still, at least once during the work day, I find myself falling onto the nearby bed and falling asleep.  I’m starting to feel like my dad looked in the last years of his life, like he was constantly ready for the next nap–and that nap happens, but you don’t feel any more refreshed afterwards as you did before.

So I give up for the day.  I’m sitting at the new bar table in my kitchen blogging in the sunlight.  And I feel like I’m in Europe during the first couple days of jet lag.  The desire to blog isn’t in me but I’m boiling noodles for some mac and cheese.  I’m going to eat it and watch Top Gear.  And I’m probably going to fall asleep again.

I’m so tired of getting to 1pm Tuesday afternoon and feeling like it’s Friday.  I don’t remember every being quite this tired all the time.  I’m treating the mono, but I don’t have “acute” mono, that is, I shouldn’t have an active infection, but goddamnit, I feel like do.  And of course it comes and it goes.  It usually goes around 10pm when I start prepping for sleep.  But that’s obviously not how it works.  There is no God.

In years I’d go to the bar about now, I’d have a fuck it moment.  But I have no fucks to give.  I’m so tired.  And so tired of being tired.

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